


Balance

by spoilerarlert



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-29
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-21 18:23:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/903416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spoilerarlert/pseuds/spoilerarlert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Torn from her secluded mountain home, Mikasa Ackerman finds herself feeling completely out-of-place in the Jaeger household. The Shinganshina District is drastically different in comparison to the mountains; it's more cramped and not to mention more hectic. Adapting to this new home is thereby a struggle for Mikasa as she gets up everyday not to the sound of birds chirping through the trees but people clamoring through the streets. But with the help of her new friend Eren Jaeger, she must eventually learn to shed her bloodstained past and build this new home in her heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys. Whaddup. I know this isn't exactly the most popular ship in the entire fandom with EreRi floating around everywhere, but you've gotta admit that kid Eren/Mikasa is pretty cute. My heart nearly melts at the thought of them caring for each other, and sometimes I need to sob into my pillow because feels HURT. I hope you guys enjoy this first chapter, though! I'm planning on continuing it, going deeper into the childhood memories of these two, so please stay tuned for more!

**Mikasa**

 

_ The world is cruel and merciless… yet so beautiful _ .

 

There was no aftershock to that realization. It was so hard-hitting that Mikasa felt the tears stop running as Eren led her down the hill. She didn't exactly feel  _ strong _ at the moment; her knees slightly wobbled with each step down the steep, wooded slopes. But she felt a sense of comfort upon repeating those words to herself, a sense of control towards the whirling chaos of this world.

 

_ Fight, you can't win without fighting. _

 

Something in the dark undergrowth, a rock or a shrub, caught itself against her foot, and she stumbled slightly, tugging Eren back with her. His grip on her sleeve slipped onto her wrist, and firmly he pulled her steady, right back onto her feet.

 

"You okay?"

 

At first she couldn't see his face, for the night was cruel like the rest of the world and insisted on keeping a curtain drawn over the stars and the moon. All she could perceive was the sound of his voice and the grip of his warm hand. However, when Dr. Jaeger stepped forward with the small light of his lantern, she could see the weary, concerned expression on Eren's face. Shadows danced underneath his half-lidded eyes, and to her surprise, they lacked the furious fire that allowed him to take down two of the traffickers.

 

"We can take a small break here, if you'd like," Dr. Jaeger offered, setting his satchel against a tree. "We still have a little ways to go from here, perhaps two maybe even three more miles until we reach town."

 

She was hungry, thirsty, and tired. The kidnappers had not offered her anything—not even a drop of water, much less a bite of bread for the length of the day—and she felt sore. But impassively, Mikasa shook her head. This was yet another one of those fights that threaded the complex of their world. In order to win, she had to fight the hunger, thirst, and tiredness that threatened to befall her.

 

"I'm fine."

 

Dr. Jaeger's lantern could only shine so far into the darkness, and the forest seemed to mock their journey. Crickets and toads played a haunting overture accompanied by the warnings of an owl and the occasional scream of a coyote or fox. A chilling draft whipped through the trees, biting at Mikasa's exposed legs.  _ Just another fight _ , she thought as she pulled Eren's scarf closer around her neck.

 

Truly, it was a godsend of warmth. Also it smelled nice. There was a hint of pine and a dab of spice, but the primary scent was… indistinguishable, alien, and unfamiliar. Whatever it was, Mikasa pulled the scarf tight and followed Eren towards the place he called home.

* * *

  
  


Eren bore a striking resemblance to Carla Jaeger. Their expressions both channeled violent emotions like churning waters. When Carla yelled at Eren for his recklessness, Mikasa could see the defiant fire in mother and son's eyes, burning bright with a matching intensity. And when Eren apologized, those nearly identical eyes simmered down and softened, reflecting the flickering candlelight on the kitchen table.

 

"Eren, please promise me that you'll never  _ ever _ pull something like that and endanger yourself again," Carla said sharply, kneeling and pulling her son into her arms.

 

Eren buried his head against his mother's shoulder and sniffled. "I… won't. I-it's just that those men made me so—"

 

"Enough about that," Mrs. Jaeger interrupted. "Mikasa."

 

Mikasa stiffened at the sound of her name.  _ Mikasa _ didn't belong in this household;  _ Mikasa Ackerman _ didn't belong with  _ Eren _ ,  _ Grisha _ , and  _ Carla Jaeger _ .  _ Mikasa _ was the one flat note that rung out conspicuously in the choir, the one note that made choirboys cringe and birds wince. And this woman with the temperamental eyes wasn't Mom. This was a lady she had never met before who was holding her the way she would hold her own son, whispering that one flat note over and over again, crying over someone else's daughter.

 

"I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. That shouldn't happen to anyone, especially to someone as young as you," Carla murmured, running a hand through Mikasa's hair. "But you have a home here now." The woman pulled out of the embrace. "It might never be the same for you as before, but I want you to remember that you're welcome here. You have a spot at the dinner table, a place to sleep, people who take care of you."

 

"Thank you," Mikasa replied, shifting her eyes towards Eren who sat beside his mother, a silent shadow. "Thank you so much…" Her voice trailed off. Carla was not Mom. Carla was not her mother. "Thank you so much… Mrs. Jaeger."

 

Eren's mother paused, and internally Mikasa dreaded what was about to come next.  _ I'm not calling you  _ _ that _ , she thought. It was selfish, yes, but she didn't give a damn. That title— _ Mom— _ was granted solely to someone else, and now that that someone else was gone, no one was permitted that title from her. The name  _ Mom _ was locked up in a little safe in her heart, never to be accessed ever again.

 

"Carla," the lady said with a laugh. "Just Carla.  _ Mrs. Jaeger _ makes it sound like I'm an old lady knitting sweaters in a rocking chair."

 

"And I'm Grisha." Mikasa jumped at the sound of Dr. Jaeger's voice from the stairs. The man emerged, holding a candle in his hand. "You can have the guest room, though I'm afraid that you'll have to borrow some of Eren's clothes for tonight. Don't worry, we'll go out and buy some new clothes tomorrow morning while Carla does her grocery shopping."

 

Calling adults by their first names was unheard of. Eyes wide, Mikasa struggled for a response as Mrs. Jaeger reached across the table to grasp her hand. Those fingers were just as warm as Eren's, she noticed, unconsciously burying her face deeper into that red scarf. And then it hit her. Pine. Spice. That third scent.

  
  


It was the scent of home. A home. The Jaeger's home. Now, her home.

 

Pine and spice were only a part of it. Other aromas caught her interest: burning candles, clean bedsheets, and even a whiff of fresh mint. Eren's house smelled nothing like her old home; there was more going on, seemingly more hectic in comparison to the relaxed scents of the mountainous outdoors and her mother's cooking.

 

* * *

 

 

The guest bedroom was a room about the size of Eren's with a comfortable bed, a dresser, and a little nightstand with a lamp. The window offered a view of the streets of Shiganshina, which slept soundly under the clear night sky.

 

Even though she was warm now with a sizable serving of stew in her tummy, Mikasa crawled into bed with the red scarf hugged against her chest, ensuring that it didn't slip from her arms. It took some squirming and writhing before she found the right sleeping position amongst the fluffy pillows and thick comforter, but as she laid in the unfamiliar bed, sleep seemed hesitant to arrive. Ridiculous. She had walked a cold five miles, more or less, down the mountain, laid beaten and bound by human traffickers, and witnessed both her parents being murdered. Sheer exhaustion gnawed at her every fiber. Her muscles ached, and her legs felt like they were going to fall off, yet her eyes remained alert, darting through the dark room in search of nothing.

 

Sleep was pointless right now, she decided, sitting up and lighting the kerosene lantern on the nightstand. Mindlessly, Mikasa wrapped the scarf back around her neck. She stroked the knit fabric, feeling each individual yarned thread pulling itself together to form the garment that kept her so very warm. A pang of sadness hit her, and her fingers trembled, involuntarily repeating the sewing motions her mother had taught her earlier that day.

 

_ Thread it here. Pull the needle out just a bit, and thread it back in. There you go, Mikasa. You got it like a pro— _

 

A loud pounding. On a wooden door. No, this couldn't be happening again. Not here. Her fingers freezing up as they did in her own house, Mikasa sucked in a breath as the pounding continued. No. This time she was ready. Her eyes scanned the room for anything. The lamp, the pillow, the sheets—there, in the corner, was a broomstick. Didn't Eren use a broomstick to take down one of the horrible men?

 

Quickly and quietly, she threw herself out of the bedsheets, took the broom firmly by its splintery handle, and approached the door on her tiptoes. She felt like a scared animal, a deer alone in the dark forest with nowhere to go. She was surrounded by thorny shrubs that blocked all exits, and enemies lurked everywhere: from above, below, and lying in ambush.

 

_ Fight and win. Or lose and die. _

 

The door swung open with a creak. Right. Gritting her teeth, Mikasa charged forwards and thrust the round butt of the broomstick handle blindly. Her heart sank. She must've missed because there was no impact with whoever made the knocking sound. All she heard was the sound of a familiar voice crying out in protest and a soft thud.

 

"Whoa, what the heck!" The light of a flame revealed the startled, mortified face of Eren, sprawled on the ground. "I was holding a candle here! We're lucky I didn't drop it or else that would've been a disaster! M-Mikasa, what's the matter?"

 

"E-Er-Eren?" His name felt weird on her tongue, and she felt the word roll off awkwardly. "It's just you…"

 

She watched his eyes drift down to the broomstick handle in her hands. Her attack had missed. If the circumstances were different and behind the door wasn't Eren but… more monsters, that one mess-up would mean that she'd experience the trauma of today all over again. The same bleak hopelessness that swarmed her mind as she stared blankly at the boots of her captors. The same harsh language they threw back and forth at each other, talking about what a pervert would do to her once they sold her at the underground market.

 

"Mikasa…" Eren took the broomstick out of her shaking hands and rested it against the wall. Closing the door and holding her by the wrist, he led her towards the guest bed. "Everything's going to be okay now," he assured her, sitting her down on the mattress. "Those filthy bastards are gone."

 

She didn't flinch at his harsh language as she would've not too long ago. Under her old household, her mother didn't tolerate any swearing whatsoever, but Mikasa nodded. Those men  _ were _ filthy bastards. By their filthy actions, they had debased their names to merely a harsh insult, and she was fine with that. Let them lose their identity through their crimes. Let them be the filthy bastards that they were.

 

"Eren." Saying it a second time, his name felt easier, smoother. In fact, it had a nice sound to it, and she had to restrain herself from saying it third, fourth, and even fifth time.

 

"What is it?"

 

"I'm… sorry." She kept her eyes locked onto the candle by the nightstand, watching it flicker and reflect off of the lantern glass beside it. Due to her own stupid actions, that candle could've burned this house down—along with her new family. And then she would only add greater weight to her life sentence as a murderer, right?

 

Eren laughed uneasily. "Nah, don't worry about it too much, Mikasa. Honestly, I'm still shaken up over that—"

 

"I'm a murderer," she cut in. Raising her hands, the hands that learned to sew today as well as the hands that sank a knife through a human being's heart, she felt her chest tighten up. Why were her hands so red now? And wet? For a minute, she couldn't breathe; the walls she built above herself finally crashed, letting down the pressure and guilt of today tumble down like an avalanche.

 

"Stop." His voice snapped her back to reality. Her hands were no longer bloodstained and dripping; they were clean, thanks to Carla's efforts. "Mikasa, just cut it out." She faced him to see those blue-green eyes gazing angrily down into his own hands. "We… we had a reason to do it! Those men were animals! They killed your—" He cut himself off at the last word and shook his head. "What I'm trying to say is, people like that shouldn't be allowed to be in this world."

 

"But there were three!" she protested. "They killed two people, my parents, but we… we killed three! That's not right! We—"

 

"Don't tell me that we're worse than them," Eren muttered darkly. "Because we're not. And that's not how it works. Three people went into your house and did all those crimes. It could've been one or two or five or six hundred. It just happened to be three. And two people died because of them. And it could've been three people. Or four or even a thousand. Just—" He clenched his hand into a fist. "—the fact that they killed your parents isn't right. Even if those bastards apologized for years at a time, they can never make up for that, so don't worry about it too much. We did the right thing."

 

_ Fight, you can't win without fighting. _

 

She didn't exactly understand his logic. Had she killed out of justice, as he was describing? Without a doubt, she was sure that the fight-or-flight instinct had taken over in that moment, and she was teetering on the tightrope of survival, but was she also trying to be the hero? And earlier he spoke of them as animals—so was he out for revenge?

 

"Yeah," Mikasa replied bleakly. "But even though I might've had a good c-cause…" Her throat felt thick with bile, and the tears that she held back from earlier broke out and flowed freely down her face. "I killed someone," she choked. "An-and I get it!" she gasped quickly. "I had to fight to win! But that still doesn't mean that I won't feel terrible about it after…"

 

_ The world is cruel. Merciless. _

 

She hated the world. Why couldn't its beauty prevail? Why did they have to live with such cruelty? Sniffing, she wiped the tears with the scarf and inhaled the scents of her new home. And the scent of Eren. He was a part of home, and having him sit here, right beside her on the side of the bed, was comforting to the torn feelings within her.

 

"I get what you mean," he replied, rubbing his neck with his fingertips. "I… I killed two people today, and it's kinda mind-blowing—in the bad way, I mean. It's nothing like getting in a fight with those older kids. I don't even know if I was really thinking, but it was just the right thing to do! Mikasa, just remember that! You had to do it!"

 

"I had to do it," she repeated. It seemed like he was trying to reassure himself of the same thing as well.

 

"Yeah! Don't cry anymore, Mikasa! We're here for you now." She could feel her cheeks heating up when he squeezed her hand once. Twice. "Listen, you should get some sleep now. Today's been hell for you, so the most important thing you need is rest. I can show you around town tomorrow."

 

"I can't sleep," she murmured. "I'm tired, but I can't sleep."

 

Eren paused. "You too?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Well… I'm in the same boat as you. I've been literally lying in my bed for the past hour, but I can't sleep at all. It sucks. So I got bored and thought I should check up on you."

 

"Thanks."

 

"No problem," Eren sighed, flopping his back onto her mattress, letting his legs dangle off the edge of the bed. "What do you wanna talk about?"

 

His question caught Mikasa by surprise. He struck her as fickle, having suddenly switched from talking about their dark day to this small talk, but she was secretly relieved by the change of topic.

 

"I don't know, what do you wanna talk about?" she responded, feeling awkward as she copied him, flopping back onto the bed beside him. Together, they gazed up at the panels of the ceiling, at the wiggling shadows made by the lights of the candle and lantern.

 

"I dunno either, but you're not like those other girls in my town. You probably wouldn't get along with them. All they do is whine and scream about boys and brush their hair."

 

"Are you saying that I don't brush my hair?"

 

"Sure." Eren reached over and flicked a strand of her dark hair into her face. "Plus, I haven't seen you complain once today about anything, which is pretty weird for a girl."

 

Unsure of how to respond to that, she brushed the disturbed lock back behind her ear and made a face. "Is that a compliment?"

 

"If you want it to be." He shrugged. "And why are you still wearing that ratty, old scarf? It's like a hundred degrees in this house. You should take it off before you get a fever, silly."

 

"I don't think it's ratty, and it's new to me," Mikasa said dryly. "No offense, Eren, but you need to learn how to talk to girls." Oops. That came out too quickly.

 

Before she could apologize or take it back, Eren flicked another strand of hair into her face. "What're you talking about? I know plenty about talking to girls. All you do is talk about hair and clothes. Like, 'Goddamn, Mikasa! You're hair's so  _ gorgeous, _ what do you do to it?' And, 'Mikasa, yuck! That scarf's so  _ ugly _ , why are you wearing it?!'"

 

Mikasa couldn't help but let slip a small smile at his fake falsetto. "Shut up, Erietta. I like this scarf, and I'm going to wear it every single day, whether you like it or not." Without holding back, she elbowed him hard into the side, and Eren yelped loudly.

 

"Damn, that hurt!" he yowled, sitting up and clutching his side. "Do you have the strength of a bear or what?"

 

"S-sorry! I didn't mean—"

 

"And  _ Erietta _ ? Is that the best you can come up with? If we're gonna be friends, you gotta do better than that, Mikasa! That was straight-up pathetic!"

 

_ Friends?  _ Quickly, Mikasa sat up as well. "Eren, I'm really sorry! I swear, I—"

 

A loud creak sounded from the hallway. The two froze as footsteps padded down wooden floors outside the door.

 

"Crap, it's Mom!" Eren hissed. "Mikasa, you blow out the candle! I'll get the lamp, and we gotta be in bed before she gets here! Got it?"

 

"O-okay!" Heeding his orders, she clambered off of the mattress and tiptoed towards the nightstand. She sucked in a deep breath and extinguished the candle flame while Eren worked at the knob that turned on the gas lantern. "Eren, hurry!" Mikasa whispered, diving into the covers.

 

"I'm trying!" he shot back. The footsteps were nearing the door, and just as the doorknob creaked, the lantern shut off, drowning the room in pitch black.

 

Mikasa felt Eren squirming into the comforter beside her. They heard the door open slowly, and cracking an eyelid barely open to a slit, she could see the silhouette of Carla standing by the doorway. Eren's mother remained there for a few more seconds, tall and imperious, before closing the door. Her footsteps padded back the way she came. Signaling the end of the danger, a door in the distance screeched open and clunked as it shut.

 

"Phew, that was close," Eren whispered, popping out from the covers. "We better be quiet and keep the lights off or else Mom'll go berserk on us. Rule No. 1 in the Jaeger house is to always be in bed when you're s'posed to be in bed."

 

"Right," Mikasa replied, her voice muffled by the thick comforter. "No sneaking out." At a first glance, Carla Jaeger didn't seem like the stringent mother who kept close tabs on her kids, but based on Eren's chilling voice, she decided not to take too many chances.

 

"Yep, or else Mom gives you one hell of a spanking. One time, I snuck out around midnight so me and Armin could go see these fireworks the big kids were lighting up, but then some idiot set the bakery on fire, and when I got home—long story short, don't do it."

 

Mikasa nodded vigorously. "I won't." She wasn't exactly sure who this Armin character was, but on a second thought, she decided to hold her tongue.

 

Eren continued to tell stories of Armin and himself in hushed tones, of all their adventures together and of this big storybook that he made her swear to keep secret about because it was apparently taboo. Mikasa would respond with little nods or a  _ mhmm _ or  _ yeah _ , quick little replies in fear of interrupting him. Listening to Eren kept her mind off of the terror of that day, and she found herself clinging onto his every word, dangling when he took even the briefest moment to think or catch his breath. However, it also seemed to calm her roving emotions, even seeming to lull her to sleep.

 

"Hey," he whispered when she became unresponsive with those  _ mhmm _ 's and  _ yeah _ 's. "I think I'm gonna head on back to my room. You look tired."

 

Instantly, Mikasa's eyes snapped wide open. "What?"

 

"I said I was gonna go back to my bed. I'm getting a little sleepy too."

 

"Wait!" she called softly as he slipped towards the door, creating an empty hole in the covers beside her. "Won't your mom yell at you if she hears you going back? I mean, the door's really noisy."

 

"You… you want me to sleep here with you tonight?"

 

Mikasa felt her face turn bright red; fortunately, the lights were off, masking her embarrassment in darkness. "I don't want you to get in trouble…"

 

"Eh, you're right, this door's a total jerk. Scoot over."

 

She felt her spirits lift as he crawled back into that empty space beside her. She felt safe from the cruel world and its lack of mercy right here next to Eren. Next to him, she could see the world for what she wanted to see: its beauty.

 

"Just tonight, okay? I kinda kick a lot…"

 

"I think I can kick you back just as hard."

 

"…Yeah, definitely just tonight. Hey, remind me to show you a real cool spot by the river tomorrow. I think you'll like it."

 

She didn't answer. For the first time since the incident, her mind felt relatively at peace. There was only one escape from the world, and it was right here. Home.

 

_ The world is cruel and merciless… yet so beautiful _ .

 

"Night, Mikasa."

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the OT3 assembles

**Mikasa**

 

In her old home, mornings were gentle. The earth stretched and yawned as the sun peeked over the horizon, ushering away the stars. And the birds began their breakfast gossip, twittering back and forth between the pine groves, harmonizing with the brook bubbling alongside the cabin. 

 

But Shiganshina was jolted with the clamor of the early market. What began as muted scuffling and scraping soon escalated to hooves clacking away at cobbled paths, shopkeepers yelling out daily deals, and townspeople chattering in indistinguishable tones. 

 

Mikasa sprang up from the bed, overwhelmed by  _ everything _ . The scents of this new house. The bustling of the town. The texture of this unfamiliar blanket. Anxiety swiftly coursing through her veins, she backed away from the bed, step by step, until her back was against the window. Upon contact with the cool glass surface, she whirled around, only to see aligned homes rather than the countryside wilderness. 

 

_ Oh my god.  _

 

The memory of last night surged back in a forceful current, consuming her, swallowing her. The blood pooling from beneath her mother. Her father slumped, lifeless in the corner. Those cackling men. They had taken her, bound and beaten her. Her breath hitching, Mikasa shifted her eyes towards the bed, where a mass, rising and falling with each snore, laid dormant.

 

_ No. No, no, no, no, no.  _

 

This could not be happening. With due haste, she began tiptoe-ing towards the exit—but paused after two steps. If one of those bastards was in that bed, then there was no telling how many more were beyond the door. She turned her attention towards the window. The men didn’t seem to lock it, and desperately, she pushed the glass upwards, praying for an escape from the clutches of these criminals. The window opened a crack, filling her with the electric feeling of adrenaline. But as she continued to push, the glass, squeaking against its frame, let out a high-pitched noise that screamed throughout the bedroom.

 

Mikasa froze, breathless. The snoring mass groaned, shifting amorphously. At that moment, a snap decision flew through her mind, and without a second thought, she pounced on it. Before that monster—that  _ rapist _ —could place his hands on her again, she would lunge out the window. If she were lucky, somehow surviving the fall, she’d bolt as fast as her legs could carry her, for as long as her lungs could sustain her. The mass rose, yawning loudly. Her muscles tensed, ready to fire.

 

The blanket slipped, revealing a boy, roughly her age, with disheveled hair and teal eyes. 

 

“Huh, who are you?” he muttered blearily, blinking twice and yawning once more. His eyes widened when they met hers. “Mikasa? What the h— _ are you trying to kill yourself? _ ”

 

The relief crashed over her upon hearing his voice and seeing his face. Her legs forgot how to stand, and her back slid down the wall as she crumpled to the ground. She found herself growing lightheaded, gasping for air. 

 

Instantly, Eren was beside her, slamming the window shut before kneeling down. “Hey, what’s going on?”

 

“I’m… I’m okay,” she managed, giving herself two deep, slow breaths. 

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah.” Shakily, she brought herself to her feet, brushing aside Eren’s offer to help her up. 

 

“I don’t think you’re okay,” Eren murmured. “I think I’m gonna get Dad to check up on you.”

 

“I’m fine,” she insisted, forcing out a smile that probably came out more as a grimace. He gave her an unconvinced look and began to reply, but she quickly added, “It’s just… I’m a little confused. About everything. I thought those men had me, but then I remembered I was with you, not them.”

 

“Ah, gotcha.” Eren nodded, thoughtful for a moment. “You know what,” he rose to his feet, running his fingers through his messy hair, “how ‘bout I show you around today? Shiganshina’s a pretty cool town, and maybe if you get to know this place, that’ll help with the confusion?”

 

* * *

* * *

 

**Armin**

 

Swinging around a corner, Armin crammed himself between a tiny space between two trash bins, coaching himself to calm his erratic breathing. Droplets of blood rolled down his shin, tickling his ankle, but his eyes were too focused on the main road to pay any heed to his scrape.  _ They _ were en route, their taunting voices creeping around the corner. Their pattering footsteps gained volume with each insult.  _ Heretic _ .  _ Pagan _ .  _ Liar _ . 

 

His lips soundlessly begged for them to march right past the alleyway that hid him while his hands shook, attempting to curl into firsts. 

 

“What about in here?” the weasel-faced urchin barked, pausing at the mouth of the alley. His name was Lucas, the boy who claimed the bruise on Armin’s shoulder.

 

Armin sucked in a breath, pleading with his body to stop jittering like a leaf.

 

A steady clunk approached, the unmistakable sound of the churliest pursuer’s footsteps. Theo. A boy with a fried egg for a brain, but pistons for arms. His silhouette loomed across the alley, briefly scanning the scene, before shrugging and turning back towards the busy street. “Not here. We’d hear his pathetic whimpering if he were. Let’s go, the fucker can’t be far.”

 

The other boys grunted in unison before their outlines shrunk and scattered into the crowd.

 

Oxygen. Armin’s lungs screamed for his heels to skid to a stop, for his legs to collapse into a heap, for a break to suck in breathfuls of much-needed oxygen, but blinking back tears, he tore out of the alley, praying that he took off in the direction opposite of his pursuers. He knew the winding, twisting architecture of Shiganshina by heart, a mental map ingrained after years of running. His sweat stained the cobblestones. His frantic footsteps charted the streets.

 

He wasn’t sure if his mind was playing cruel tricks on him, but when his ears would pick up on Theo’s wicked cackle amidst the buzz of the marketplace, his body would push past the limits posed by fatigue. His arms and legs would pump faster, stronger than ever. Before he knew it, he had run straight past a guffawing Hannes, right through the gates, and into the countryside that hushed the urban chatter of Shiganshina the second he took that first breath of clean, rural air. Instinct took him down dirt paths, past windmills, along the stream, until he charged up the hill, to the great oak, finally dropping his knees, breathless before a startled Eren. 

 

“Armin, what’s going on?” demanded his best friend.

 

Armin took a minute to indulge in the fresh oxygen. He blinked a few times until the stars dancing along his peripheral vision were swept away. “Theo,” he croaked, coughing once. “They were… after me… again.”

 

“That prick,” Eren growled, extending a hand. “He really needs to get his ass kicked.”

 

Armin turned away from the gesture, gritted his teeth, and staggered to his feet. “I’m fine,” he blurted, forcing a grin. “I’m getting quicker at least!”

 

“Still that’s not an excuse for them to throw their weight around,” snorted Eren.

 

Armin’s eyes shifted to Eren’s right, widening upon meeting the concerned gaze of a girl. She bore the appearance of a foreigner, her sleek black hair exotic among the colors of the local girls, her dark eyes both startling and captivating. She wore one of Eren’s shirts. His winter scarf was wrapped around her neck and spilled over her shoulders. 

 

“Oh, right, this is Mikasa,” Eren added, nodding to the new girl. “She’s living with us now. Mikasa, meet Armin, the brightest guy in town.”

 

“Jeez, you’re giving me enormous shoes that I can’t fill,” Armin replied, flushing at the compliment. “Uh, hi, Mikasa! It’s nice to meet you! So how long are you staying in Shiganshina for?” 

 

A shadow crossed the girl’s face as she struggled for a response, but Eren quickly cut in, “She’s gonna be one of our pals for a long time. I thought we oughta show her around, so we took a walk through town, and now we’re here grabbing some firewood for Mom.”

 

Armin’s curiosity tugged at him to press on and ask for her story, but a warning look from Eren veered him in another direction. “That’s great! Did you see the pond yet? Sometimes we can see ducks floating on it, and this is the time of year when they’ve got their babies in tow.”

 

* * *

 

Something critical happened between those two, Armin decided as he trailed behind Eren and Mikasa. The way his eyes, typically steely and determined, softened when he spoke to her. The way her shy demeanor melted when a small smile escaped her lips at one of his comments. But their gentle, careful exchange was overcast by a dark, thick cloud that lent no window for Armin to peer into. There was something frightening, something  _ malevolent _ even, churning within the secret that hung over the two, but he chose to shrug away these apprehensions for now.

 

They sat by the glittering lake, watching its surface reflect the molten colors of the sunset, rippled by the bobbing ducks. As they joked and laughed and teased, Armin could sense Mikasa’s reserved demeanor warming up. He watched her rigid, disciplined,  _ scarred _ expression grant her the liberty of an occasional grin. He beamed when she offered a soft-spoken yet amusing comment from time to time.

 

“Hey, hey, Armin. Tell us about the salty bathtubs in your book!” Eren nudged Mikasa. “So his grandpa’s got this book that was supposed to be burned and tossed years ago, and it has all these neat stories about the outside world.”

 

“Outside world?” Mikasa echoed, her brow knotting in confusion.

 

Armin nodded, gazing beyond the lake, towards the sky-high walls that caged the countryside. “ _ Outside world _ , as in waaaay beyond the boundaries of these walls. There are so many cool places out there. Lands covered in ice, year-round. Fields called  _ deserts _ that are hot as hell and don’t have grass or trees. But the most amazing of them all is this… this  _ ocean. _ ” He paused, letting that foreign word, unspoken for years until he dusted off the cover of Gramps’ book, roll around his tongue. “Imagine a land  _ covered _ by water, water that’s filled with salt. But instead of calm waters like this lake, this ocean is rocked by violent waves. It’s lined by stretches of mini-deserts they called  _ beaches _ .”

 

“That’s… unreal,” Mikasa replied quietly, giving him a bewildered look.

  
“That’s what we thought at first, but I’ll bet every penny in the world that it’s out there.” Eren smiled, skipping a stone across the lake. “And Armin and I are gonna see it for our own eyes. We’re gonna get outta these stupid walls one day, right?”

  
“Right on,” Armin responded, handing Mikasa a pebble. “You should totally join us!”

  
She flicked her elbow, flinging the tiny rock outwards. Four, five, six,  _ seven  _ times it skipped along the waterfront before plinking underneath the surface, just shy of bouncing into an unsuspecting duck. 

 

“What the hell? You just beat my record!” Eren remarked indignantly, twisting around to search for another pebble. “But beginner’s luck will only take you so far.”

 

As he scurried along the shore for more ammo, Mikasa let slip another one of her smiles, which seemed to come more frequently now than earlier in the day. “I think I’ll take you up on that offer, Armin.”

 

* * *

 

For another hour, they sought to beat Mikasa’s record, tossing stones one after the other into the lake. By the time the sun crested the mountaintops, a few floating feathers and frantic webbed-footprints along the bank were all that remained of the ducks, and that seven-skip record was at least trumped—only by Mikasa herself who managed to land a nine. 

  
“Screw this, it’s dinnertime,” Eren huffed, scowling at the triumphant Mikasa.

 

Instantly, she winced at his bitter jealousy, but Armin wrapped an arm around her and laughed. “Someone’s a sore loser.”

 

Eren rolled his eyes and shot their new playmate a grin. “Don’t get cocky, Mikasa. Next thing you know, you’re gonna be shooting to beat  _ eleven _ skips. Just watch me.”

 

Together, they scooped the almost-forgotten firewood and ambled down the dirt path, towards the gates to Shiganshina. They waved to a supine Hannes, probably knocked out from the beer bottles sprawled around his post. Market stalls closed down after them, and the bustle of the day hushed as the sun continued its descent. 

 

“Hey, look at that!” Armin stopped and pointed into the sky, towards the twilight stars peeking from the last rays of sunset. “Grandpa told me long ago, way before the walls went up, that people used to use the stars to navigate the world. And that one right there—” He pointed due north at one brilliant faraway light. “—is called the North Star because it’ll always lead you in that direction. And there’s a constellation called the Big Dipper—”

 

“Spouting off heretic bullshit again, eh?”

 

The three whipped around, only to come face-to-face with Theo and his gang of three other boys. Before Armin could react, two boys seized his arms, forcing him to his knees, while Theo and another boy confronted a bristling Eren.

 

“Fuck off, you guys,” Eren snarled, clenching his fists. “Or else I’ll beat your asses—” 

 

Theo dealt him a swift blow to the cheek, while his companion kicked him in the kneecap. Eren yelped, landing on his back. Twigs and smaller logs clattered to the earth. “Sorry, didn’t quite hear you. Jaeger, you’re gonna have to speak up,” the burly boy mused, delivering a stomp to Eren’s unguarded flank. A screamed ripped through the atmosphere. “Ah, there we go. Heard you loud and clear.” 

 

But before Theo could reward Eren with a punch to the skull, a lightning-fast form barreled into him, sending him backwards into the ground. Armin strained against his captors, blinking to find Mikasa furiously wrestling with the thug nearly twice her size. She kicked, clawed, punched, and bit with a calculated frenzy that left the other three boys gaping in terror. Elbowing Theo in the jaw one last time, for good measure, she knocked him to the ground, lifted herself to her feet, dusted off her knees, and slowly approached the two boys who were shakily gripping Armin’s arms. Her shadow grew in length with each step forward.

 

“Let him go,” she stated flatly, glowering. A terrifying aura seemed to exude from her, and Armin could hear one of the boys gulping nervously.

 

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Theo’s assist barked, advancing warily.

 

Poor decision. A whirl of black hair. A flying fist. Ragged howls. When the dust settled, the boys had already limped off halfway down the street, dragging a half-conscious Theo behind them. “Freak!” they called. “Monster!”

 

Mikasa only shrugged, but her aura of terror rapidly extinguished itself once her eyes shifted to Eren. Immediately, she knelt by his side, cradling his beaten form in her arms, pleading for a response. 

 

He coughed, his eyes snapping open at her touch. “Chill…” he murmured, wincing as he sat up. A trail of blood trickled down from his lip, which he wiped away dismissively with the back of his sleeve. “Armin, you alright?”

 

Armin didn’t answer at first. His eyes were trained on Mikasa, still trying to register the whirl of action that unfurled itself in the last two minutes. He was awestruck by her unmatched strength, by her tactical brilliance that clicked on in the blink of an eye. She noticed his staring and gave him a knowing nod.

 

“All good,” he replied, shooting her a nod of thanks in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! I'm finally back after a 3-year hiatus! Feedback would be much apprciated!


End file.
